Monday, May 30, 2022

Funny Funny Ha Ha (Fisherisms)

 Hold on to your hats, partners. Here's the next round-up Funny Fisherisms. I've been collecting these for about 6 months now (I'm a little behind on my blogging...can you tell?). Anyway, enjoy!

  • Maggie to Chris: Hey Dad, could you get a job that's not quite so disgusting and make more money?
  • Riley telling us about his Thanksgiving meal from the 6th grade cafeteria: "Oh man, the turkey is okay, but I kid you not, the school gravy is the worst on the planet." 
  • Maggie: "I'm shaking out of nowhereness because it is so cold out here."
  • Chris to Maggie quizzing her on football logos and showed her the Saints one: "Oh yeah, I know that one....it's the Webelos!"
  • Maggie to me: "Mom, guess what the most dingusy thing I did all day? Wear my pjs under my shirt and sweatshirt all day." 
  • Riley and his buddy are talking during carpool and his buddy uses the phrase "breaking wind": "What's that mean?" To which his friend replies: "It means to fart." Without missing a beat, Riley responds: "Oh, that must be in old people talk." 
  • Maggie comparing photos of herself from 2019 and 2021: "So I may have a more mature nose and bigger lips, but I've got the same fiery look in my eyes." Me: "Isn't that the truth??"
  • Riley at Christmastime: "So are we going to do that Pink Elephant Exchange?"
  • Maggie after her Hip Hop dance recital: "Ummm..I deserve a prize. I danced on stage for like 30 whole seconds."
  • Maggie: "What is a turnstile? Like a sideways udder??"
  • Someone asked Riley what kind of bagels he likes and he replies: "Normal ones."
  • Maggie writing Valentine's Day cards to the boys in her class some of which say cheesy stuff to which she adds her own postscript: "Don't take this personally."
  • Riley at a recent cookout: "I need to get another hamburger shell....I mean...bun."
  • Maggie lamented that sometimes she feels like an emotional mess and Riley tried to cheer her up with this comment: "Well you are in a crazy and dyngus way, but not in a psychological messed up way." 
  • Maggie at bedtime to Chris: "Dad, it's time for 'Snugg'emIn" (code for tuck me in bed and snug me in).
  • Maggie 2 minutes later: "Dad, we've got to make this quick, I've got work to do." (Proceeds to set up her LED lights so that she can work on her comics). 
  • Chris to Maggie the next morning as a cue to pack up her stuff for school: "Magg'emUp Time!" (A good 10 minutes before Riley's Pack'emUp time.)
  • Maggie to me on a neighborhood bike ride: "Wow, that's some green grass. Oh wait, it's probably fake. They probably spray paint it!"
  • Riley figuring our school hierarchy: "Okay, so the AP doesn't do as much as the principal, right? The principal is really the one pulling all the puppet strings."
  • Riley talking about the unusually warm weather in March: "Well according to my standards, the hottest month of the year is technically July."
  • Maggie packing for her first cross-country trip and explaining to us why she packed an LED remote and a metal baton in her suitcase: "Well, I just needed them in case I needed to be reminded of home."
  • Maggie to me as part of my Mother's Day Spa Special courtesy of her homemade coupons: "Mom, do you want your pedicure in bath water or do you want to put your feet in the toilet bowl?" Me: "I'll take the bath water, please." Maggie: "Well, they're both clean water!"
  • Riley: "They are supposed to have a Student of the Week, but it's really like 'Student of the Every 2 Months'."
  • Maggie complaining about the length of message we wrote in Riley's birthday card earlier this month: "Don't write me a birthday card that long on my birthday. Nobody wants to waste their birthday time reading a 2 page card."
  • Maggie just last night: "Dad, I need you to kill that spider in my room." 5 minutes later: "Dad, I need you to get rid of the web in my window. I don't want to sleep so close to a relative you just killed."

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